DC world Observations: Time to reflect

We are now a few weeks into this strange and surreal DC world (During Corona as opposed to that now distant BC, Before Corona world). To what extent have you given yourself time to reflect?

The first and most important question that many of us had to answer urgently was:

What are the immediate practical problems I need to solve?

Abruptly and with little preparation, we had to change our working practices, find ways to help our children learn at home, address childcare needs, work out how to care for elderly or vulnerable family and neighbours, potentially face huge financial uncertainty or job loss, shop for food in an increasingly anxious world. This is about recognising the huge physical and external changes that have taken place recently. 

But now, the most important question we need to ask ourselves is this:

What are my underlying emotions and feelings as I think about all this?

Because inevitably, our emotions take longer to catch up. Add to this how unreliable our feelings can be as indicators of what is actually going on, and the stage is set for something of an emotional melt down. Thus, it is important that we take time to acknowledge the monstrous emotional disruption that has also occurred in us.

Ensuring that we are regularly connecting with those we love who fuel our souls is important each week to keep our perspective bigger than our own four walls. And as I was musing last week, creating structure for our day helps us to take control of what we can given that there is so much beyond our control currently. This week, as part of that daily structure I encourage you to make space for yourself. 

Take time to reflect each day.

Sit with yourself somewhere quiet and notice how you are feeling. Perhaps you are someone who processes by writing. Take a little time each day to write down all you are feeling, unfiltered and without judgement. Or draw, mind map, doodle, talk to yourself. How you reflect matters not a jot. Just get it out. Then ask yourself:

• What AM I feeling?
• What do those feelings indicate?
• What do I need?
• What would help?
• What is working well just now?
• What is not, and how can I change that?
• Where am I feeling overwhelmed? Where can I get help?
• Where am I tempted to compare myself with others or be driven by ‘shoulds’ and ‘oughts‘?
• Where do I need to let myself off the hook of trying to be and do everything?
• Am I mad at the loss of my old BC life? What would help me today to accept this situation?
• How can I channel that negative energy into something constructive today?

Recognise each day that things will change, and that is OK. How you were feeling may not be how you feel today. Notice too what you are not doing that you normally would be, and see if there are ways to reintroduce some of those elements. This is where routine and structure can really help. 

Recognise that we are all likely to be at different stages of the emotional spectrum.

We are living constantly in close proximity to the same people, or on our own. Those around us are dealing with what is going on in their own way and time, and we need to give each other grace for this. When we are experiencing a lot of difficult emotions like fear and uncertainty, those fears can leak out in the form of irritation with others. Take time with those around you to look below any potentially negative behaviour to underlying fears. Ask what is really going on, and give space to express and vent safely those emotions. 

Time to reflect has always been advocated as an important tool for self awareness and growth, and how much more so now. 

If I come out of this DC season well, what will that mean?

This is always a really powerful question to ask yourself as it allows you to channel some of those feelings into positive action. Take time to connect with who you are at your best, and what is most important to you, and then make choices each day in line with that person.

What that means for you will be unique, because you are unique.

But it is important to take time to identify your feelings first before taking action to ensure your actions are authentic and to prevent you burning out. 

This is not a sprint. None of us know how long this DC world will continue. And constant change continues to ensure that our world remains very unsettled and unstable. This volume of change all at once is exhausting. 

So do please take time to reflect each day – to check in with yourself about how you are feeling and what you need. 

Tools for this will follow next week, but for now, simply give yourself permission to feel what you are feeling.